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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
pms
12:54 PM
isn't it interesting how PMS can cause you to swerve off the road into the drive-thru line up at mcdonalds? 0 Comments Monday, October 30, 2006
halloween ritual
11:27 PM
so the standard halloween eve activity at the finch household is a scramble throw-together of last minute costume details. fairly simple costumes this year, YAY! chelsea really only needed the super-symbol painted on her super-hero t-shirt. she, of course wanted the symbol to be the colors of her necklaces that she will be wearing because as we all know, super-heros are super accessorizers. here is me, painting our super SC logo to stand for super chelsea...  the design for the symbol was discussed at length and layout ideas were shot down like skeet for atrocities such as being too "scooby-dooish" or too "hippy". we finally settled on a crossing of the s and c at the base keepin' it very low key. this is me after chelsea pointed out that our design was somewhat akin to the detested nazi swastika... so, we opted for an even more simplistic design and after numerous layers of repair paint, it turned out nicely. the paint is now so thick, it is her super power! a bullet proof shield...  1 Comments Wednesday, October 25, 2006
doomsayer
7:52 PM
and i quote...  * raven, squeezing parker aggressively*"ooooohh, parker! i love you so much! i'll be so sad when you die!" 0 Comments
everything with jalepeno
11:00 AM
 my bagel rocks!!! 0 Comments Monday, October 23, 2006
ooooo, barracuda
9:46 PM
 you might be thinking a 3 day vacation with two 13 hour drives couldn't possibly be a fulfilling and restful adventure. it was...especially since arden loves to drive and i love to passenger. we are excellent traveling companions. we took arden's suzuki samurai as our own private covered wagon along hwy 27, parallel to the major interstate. as tallahassee fall kicked in, we pulled into key west at a stunningly comfortable and breezy 90 degrees. we were wind whipped but elated! our first stop, with some apprehension was the clothing optional pearl's. we were so pleased to find this homey compound at the quiet end of the famous partying duval street. it was inviting, charming and not a single nakkie person in sight. (i was actually a little disappointed)      after a little "freshening up" we took a stroll around town. and actually for about 10 minutes, we were the southern most gals in the continental u.s. which was documented by an innocent bystander who i accosted and proceeded to give extensive photo taking advice to. poor thing...  so the adventure really began when we rode the catamaran out to the coral reef for what the insiders like to call a bit of the ole snorkel-o. did you know that the reef off the coast of key west is the 3rd largest in the world behind belize and australia (sidenote).   anyway, we got lots of clear instructions from a 5 year old blond in a bikini who couldn't stop saying "alright guys?". the water was gorgeous and i was reeeeeaaady! we jumped from the side of the boat, arden in her flippers and me in my chacos because that's the way i always do it. did i mention that i purchased a 7$ under-water camera for 20$. the water was rough this day and i struggled in my shoes to steady myself and snap photos of arden diving down and all the cutie fish i saw. arden came up beside me and pointed to a fish while trying to communicate to me what it was when the fish swirled around to me and my poised and ready camera. i was snapping away and arden began to sort-of gurgle a yell at me...something completely indistinguishable through her snorkel, she was pulling me through the water a bit and i finally made out her words that translated to... you need to be afraid! "barracuda! back-up!!" and with that, chilly fear ran through me. i wasn't sure how bad this could be but all i could see in my head were scenes from piranha and of course jaws. i was truly terrified. i could hear myself breathing too fast through my snorkel and i didn't know what to do so i swam around and hid behind arden. she says what actually happened was a bit more like pulling her around in front of me, closer to the fish whose name translates to alllll teeth. i usually handle emergencies with an eerie calm but failed this test with hyperventilating terror! obviously we are fine, but that little fucker followed us all the way back to the boat where i climbed aboard and threw myself onto the asphalt coated deck. barracudas are not your friends!  overall, beautiful scenery. glad to be back on land. we finished our day off with a swim, a "nap", a yummy seafood dinner on a balcony overlooking duval and a visit to the goombay festivities. the streets were crowded with a smorgeshborg of folks, booths of "meat sticks" and other varieties of bizarre food and crafts. at the end of the street we detoured through the ghetto by mistake and decided we were ready for less thrill seeking behavior and went back to the little lesbo enclave of pearl's own party patio and pool (hey! say that 3 times fast)   our journey home began early sunday and we felt so fulfilled by our time in the keys, we didnt even complain much about leaving. the only glitch we encountered as we drove through the chain of islands was a larger than life lobster that nearly completely overpowered me. this island life is very dangerous.  the remaining hours were spent in a hypnotic state. arden zoning out to the 70's schlock that infests her ipod and i, lost in thought...planning, plotting, changing my own life, one thought at a time.  0 Comments Wednesday, October 18, 2006
"we love you mommy"
10:43 PM
note recieved from children validates what i have suspected all along...the children have sufficiently learned the power of bribery. my job here is done. dear mommy, an issue has come to our attention. this issue has to do with our maturity. the past years, it has been tradition to trick-o-treat with an adult figure. we are keeping in mind that we are not full adults yet that is why we have arranged a group. the group consists of haven, raven, chelsea, heaven, andrew, rafi, caroline and sebastion. you know that we are well mannered and know the ropes of the neighborhood. we promise to follow all rules that you apply. we promise you alot of candy in return! love, raven and chelsea finch 0 Comments
clothing optional
10:38 PM
arden and i decided it was time to remind ourselves how much fun we have together and do something to inspire lust because the daily drone of work, kid shuttling and half dead bodies at the end of the day is not as "hot" as it once was! a long weekend was all the time we could manage to finagle for ourselves and once the days were settled upon we set out to figure out where to go with them. first we considered camping in north carolina then we really ran the gamut... camping in grayton, lake martin in alabama (arden's childhood home), west palm to visit sarah (where is the romance in that?), i searched online for the "last minute travel deals" to places such as mexico, colorado, las vegas, california (too much and too far for 3 days)and then i remembered arden was interested in key west. i've never been to key west but depictions of it on television make it seem dreadfully sinful and i was surprised it held appeal for arden. i imagine drunks running through the streets wearing nothing but elaborate body paint and hair braids. regardless, i sent her a link to gather more info and she found what appears to be a quaint little beachside lesbian retreat. we researched it together a little more and decided to go for it. we called 'em up, reserved our space and paid our dues. oh YES! i am so excited. my favorite place in the world is the beach. blue water and sand fills my soul! add to that lots o women and a cute private bungalow with my sweet girl and heaven does exist! fast-forward to later this same night.... perusing the Pearl's Rainbow website i come across the FINE PRINT. "Pearl's Rainbow is a clothing-optional resort for adult women." that's right! nakidity everywhere. arden and i are going to a nakkie place!! and if you are envisioning tan firm buttocks attached to long elegant bodies, perfect perky breasts and golden tresses hugging toned shoulders, guess again! call it shallow, superficial, whatever the hell you want but lets be frank here. the people that generally feel like dis-robing are the ones that you least want to see in their birthday suits. well it's an adventure! i'm ready for it. i'll be back with some tales and if your lucky a couple of photographic images to document our lewd and lucivious safari to the southern most tip of the united states! 1 Comments Monday, October 16, 2006
dangerous food
8:28 PM
lookie lookie at the rambutan fruit i found at the grocery store today! have you ever seen such a thing? i havent been tempted to try it yet. so far i only enjoy looking at it and rolling it around in my hand.  have you ever wondered about the first person to test for edibility? let's talk about lobster. who the heck decided they'd like to catch that large cock roach with pinchers and test taste it? brave soul. what about artichokes, coconuts, oysters and the other fruit i bought today...a cactus pear which looks less intimidating in the store than it looks in the wild. i havent tried it yet either!  1 Comments Wednesday, October 11, 2006
horsesitting
9:44 AM
my mother and father and their wife went on a vaction to the carolinas for their church retreat and i, being a loyal and supportive daughter am holding down the farm while they are away. yippee. my first evening down there, i found the note my mother left me warning that if i didnt keep the water trough for the horses FULL, that a squirrel could get trapped in it and drown. so after i read the note i walked out to the trough and guess what i found! yep. it was so sad and after i recovered from my grief it became comical as i tried to remove and dispose without actually touching the thing ( bless it's soul). and i swear this couldnt have been planned better but at this exact moment the donkey from the neighbors house began to laugh hysterically through all of this. do you know that sound? the ass heeing and hawing, loud and echoing seriously sounds like a real person belly laughing in a most obnoxious manner! anyway, after numerous attempts and the squirrel dropping and rolling in the dirt at least 8 times, i gave up in frustration, picked up the now powdered doughnut by it's stiff little leg and threw it deep into the cluster of trees by the pasture (bless it's little soul). it was a total comedy of errors and that was only the first night! me thanks god arden had come to stay one particular night in the countryside! we were sleeping with the window open and there was this loud rustling directly outside the window. LOUD rustling, no joke! i was scared and she, being a recovering farm girl predicted that it was an armadillo or the like which only made me think, good thing i wasn't alone and armed! ok, so really, other than all of that, the dirt under my fingernails and caked inside my nostrils, it is quite nice...10,000 channels of satellite telly to feed my addiction, tequila and margarita mix and really beutiful star lit skies make it worthwhile. but i do miss my home and bed in our little city.   0 Comments
chelsea's very own
8:18 AM
chelsea and i were driving around after a nice lunch together and she said " i want to paint my room!" i beleive it was predicted that the pale little girl pink she chose only months ago would be outgrown quickly and indeed it was. now funky green rules her room and although i did have my doubts, it looks great!    0 Comments Friday, October 06, 2006
the red bull
10:11 AM
we have undertaken the project of cleaning out closets, under beds, drawers, nick-nack disposal and brick a brack organization in the kids rooms. i help them with this every few months in hope that they will be awed by the glistening beauty of their newly cleaned space and be driven to maintain it. it never ever works but i have to remain hopeful. you may ask, "how can their rooms need this already? you have only been in this house a short while." truth is, each of them can wreak havoc within minutes. first, let me address the fact that for raven's 12th birthday, she asked for a mini-fridge so that she wouldn't have to go to the kitchen. let us not forget that we live in a 1000 square foot house and walking to the kitchen seems to be a bigger task than raven wants to take on! does that describe to you the magnitude of her laziness? well, her dad did get her a fridge and a water cooler to boot. it's actually quite nice and has given raven a great deal of leverage when the older sister wants something. the fridge came from dad stocked with various beverages, one of which was a "red-bull" (and in my opinion are just legal liquid doses of methamphetamine disguised as flavored soda water) This is something like what i heard last night during our cleaning frenzy before driving them to the skating rink: c: raven if i buy you one when we get to skate world, can i have your red bull now? r: you pay my way in and i'll buy my own food and drink. c: how much money do you have? r: six dollars but it's 7.50 to get in with a skate rental. c: well i'll add to your six dollars to get you in, you can use my rollerblades and i'll rent my own but can i have the red bull? r: just pay my way in, i'll use your rollerblades and give you the red bull. i will buy my own food and drink at the rink. ok, so it went on like this for about 10 more minutes, i didn't really get what they were negotiating, it got all convoluted and crazy but it was a spectacle. all i could do was stare wide-eyed in awe and wonderment at the seemingly complex arbitration for the red bull. i've been thinking though that maybe this is the answer. the way to get them to clean their rooms....bribe them with speed. 0 Comments Thursday, October 05, 2006
ok, new project
11:30 AM
Doggie Door...i'm on a roll! I'm telling you, cable TV guilts me into being productive!  it still needs some paint but look how perfect those 45 degree angled cuts are. my next project is painting the back porch floor. i considered a cement acid stain but Jen (landlady) wants paint with glitter so paint with glitter it is! Besides, painting sounds easier and faster. i'm thinking red maybe? 0 Comments |
