it used to bother me that i cry at the drop of a hat. sleepy, excited, happy, sad, angry....all of these make me cry. it doesnt bother me anymore. i like it. can i call it passionate? i like living passionately.

when im excited i talk loud and jump up and down and squeal. as a kid i got shushed. as an adult, i get eyerolls. i dont care! i love it. i feel everything and i feel it big!

yesterday i rode in the back seat with chelsea and her best friend haven as they test drove chelseas new car. we were cruising down thomasville road when chels asked if we could pull into the school of arts and science. both haven and chelsea were at that school the day they first opened their doors in 1999 (1st grade) and stayed until highschool. "i hate to see you go" were the words i heard from the radio as my soon to be 16 year old drove through the parking lot of her grade school. i cried. 

chelsea looked back at her "silly" mom.  i couldnt help it. hearing them nostalge (yes its a word, cuz i say so) about the way things were and how they'd changed. my heart grew too large in my chest with pride...tears. i was also sad to think no more baby snuggly, thumb sucky, blanket draggin babies in my future 'cept maybe grand kids.

rereading this just now as i check for spelling errors, i cried again.

call it pms, call it manic, call it whatever you want.

i dont want to change it.

the sky is big today. when i look up, i feel overwhelmed by it. it makes me cry too.