|
recent entries
archives
|
Sunday, November 18, 2007
the true adventures of shirley and binga
9:54 PM
almost every time i meet someone new in my neighborhood and tell them which street i live on, they all say the same thing.... "oh! do you know shirley? she's wonderful!!" (name change here) i also have many friends who know her and who have told me the exact same thing about shirley. they say "oh, you would love shirley! i bet you two would get along great!" i don't know shirley...but i want to. i have always wanted to know her because clearly shirley is a great person and i should know her! she lives on my street. she lives about 5 houses away. i think we are cursed. this is the interesting thing about shirley and i.... in every circumstance where our paths have crossed, it has been an awkward situation, a miscommunication of some sort or, on occasion even a life threatening experience. a few examples below: - i have backed out of my driveway and almost hit shirley as she was walking past my house. - i have backed out of my driveway and almost hit shirley as she was driving past my house. - i have had a meeting and small conversation with shirley at a neighborhood party where i said many inappropriate comments, inarticulate statements, mumbling foolishness and insane rambling while in my head i asked myself, "why cant i shut-up?" - it was dark, crowded and i was naked but i think shirley was in a tee-pee sweat lodge with me once. - i nabbed a roaming puppy on my street and went door to door asking who it belonged to. i knocked on shirley's door. she yelled something. i asked "what?" she yelled something again which sounded like "come in". i went in. i yelled "hello?". she yelled something else. i said "what?" again. she yelled something that sounded like "back here". i walked down her hall until i finally made out what she was saying...."i'm not decent! i'm not decent, please leave!" now it seems to have moved outside of the hood... - i was leaving work last week and was texting as i shouldn't be, while driving. i almost ran a stop sign but caught it just in time. just before throwing myself in front of an oncoming car. shirley's car. i caught a glimpse of her face as she passed and i saw the recognition in her eye. the recognizable fear. chelsea thinks that if shirley has a blog, she has probably posted something along the lines of "everytime i step out my door, my neighbor binga tries to kill me" 5 Comments |
