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Tuesday, November 20, 2007
my contribution
2:00 PM
anybody who knows me, knows i am NOOO kind of cook! i have raised my children on canned tuna, salad and frozen pizza! when they're lucky i start mixing stuff up and putting it in a tortilla....everybody knows that anything tastes good wrapped in a tortilla! for thanksgiving, my mother asked me to bring the "blueberry stuff". this is a dessert that has been traditionally made by my cousin stephanie (who i assume is bailing on her duties?) although i have made it before. when i make it, you really have to use a chisel and mallet to get it out of the dish but it tastes pretty good! i am harrassed mercilessly by my family about my cooking skills and am so surprised they would put our sacred blueberry dish in my hands! my first real cooking disaster began when i was 11. my mother called shortly after i got home from school and asked me to get a chicken out of the deep freeze and submerge it in water to defrost it. so i did.... a couple hours later she told me to pull the "giblets" out of the middle of it (ewww!) and put it in a pot to boil. well, it was still frozen and i basically had to stab the bird repeatedly with a knife until i was able to dislodge its guts (ewww!) and then i couldnt find a pot big enough for it to fit in. after telling my mother this and perplexing her with my tale of stabbing the guts out of the bird, she said "ok, just leave it and i will deal with it when i get home!!" (said with much force and frustration) my mother arrived home from work to find a 14 pound turkey reclining on a boiler like a fat old man in a lazy-boy. wings and legs hanging over the edge. still slightly frozen and scarred. i will never live this down! the story of me not knowing the difference between a 3 pound chicken and a 14 pound turkey, the story of that bird waiting there recumbent in its bare assed splendor is told at least once a year to anyone who will listen. thus began my anti-cooking campaign. in my house you can often hear conversations such as... kid "mom, whats for dinner?" mom "i dont know, whatchoo makin' ?" kid "nothing....you're the mom. you're supposed to cook!" mom "oh ok, how about a bowl of cereal?" 2 Comments |
