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Saturday, October 20, 2007
touch me, touch me, touch me
4:51 PM
i am a very physically affectionate person. everyone in my life experiences me as a toucher. i grasp your arm when i'm surprised. caress you when you are sad. hold your hand when you are excited. kiss and hug hello and goodbye. rock you sweetly as you cry. tickle, poke, hold, rub, pinch, press, squeeze...all of that, all the time! i crave it. someone recently asked me why i am this way and if my family was affectionate with me when i was a child. all these memories came flooding down... i remember laying my head in my grandma's lap during loud booming southern baptist sermons while she played with my ear, smoothing my hair behind it, rubbing my head, touching my cheek. i remember after bad dreams climbing in bed with my mother; my fear of disturbing her and being sent away kept me still and quiet, almost holding my breath while she ran her fingers through my hair pressing my nightmares from my head. i remember my siblings and i wrestling with our father, sweating and laughing and struggling to one-up him until all four of us were trapped by our thumbs in the palm of only one of his hands. i remember sleeping over at my granny's house and her holding my hand in the dark while we told stories to each other and i played with her curls. i remember holding hands in a circle of about 30 family members as our grandpa said grace. i remember piling 6 kids in the cab of a truck, laps and elbows and hair in mouth as we rode with windows down to the dairy queen to get a sweet and sticky dessert for the ride back home. i remember kissing cousins...girls AND boys...in the closet, under the covers, behind the bee-house, in a dark hiding spot playing hide and seek. i remember getting boo-boos kissed, piggy back rides, 4 kids in a tub, sharing pool rafts and hammocks. i remember laying my head on my papa's belly as he drummed on it to prove it was hollow. i remember my mother holding my hair as i threw up, wiping my face, rubbing my back. i remember spooning my little sister during the hurricane so she wasn't so afraid, rocking her, kissing her sweet face. tenderness, kindness, closeness....these things have always been prevalent in my life. i am lucky. 9 Comments |
